Sunday, August 31, 2008

church

i really have liked our new gospel doctrine teacher. last week we had a wonderful lesson and today's lesson was great. we were discussing Helaman 1-5 and there are some really amazing scriptures. but in chapter 1, i think, we were discussing the chief judge and his family. well, the father died and three of his sons wanted to take over for him. in the end, two are killed over the judgement seat and a war is started because of this. and the teacher drew to our attention that by ruining and causing contention in a family, Satan was able to destroy an entire people!! and it is the same for us today!! if we are not focusing on our families and trying to uplift those, then our country has no luck in surviving. this point really hit me!

a while back, a man teacher mentioned to me his feelings of who we should be voting for in the coming election (he was democrat and hoping for Hilary Clinton). he stressed that especially since i was going into education, i should vote for someone who will act smartly regarding education and students. well, at the time, i didn't say much, but thinking about it later, i realized that i would protect the family and by supporting the family and things being taught in the family, it didn't matter if things were a little crazy in schools, because the important things could be taught in a safe, and protected home and marriage!! so i will protect the marriage and family and in turn, that will better the future for students, education and my life!

Friday, August 29, 2008

teaching!

well, school is going good! each day, my class gets better! i have 26 students and many who understand and speak limited English. i'm very glad i'm at the school i'm at and not a different region. i know i would adjust, but in some areas, the students know even less english!!! and it's more of the majority. so i am lucky. we'll see where i get hired, but for now, thinking positively! :D

i have a couple of students who are quite the handfuls! but they are still fun and i really do enjoy the entire teaching experience. last night, i couldn't go to sleep because i kept thinking about different ways i could help certain students. also, today, i was trying to read my scriptures and i was half reading, half thinking about a way to better help a student. it's really funny. but i want them to succeed so very much!! even (or especially) the ones that may be more difficult or have a harder time. i really am lucky.

i think i could do kindergarten (and by do, i think i would teach kindergarten again, in the future). yes, it may be more work at the beginning of the year, but i think for me and my preferences, first grade would be more difficult at the end of the year. either way, we'll see, but for now, once again, the positive! :)

Heavenly Father certainly blessed me with a spirit of teaching! i have a couple of students with an IEP and i am trying to better understand their needs. but also, there are students that speak very little if no english and they have needs. then there are all the students who might need more attention and can't sit still as long. i just know these students are going to grow and learn so much in just one year! i really wish i could stay with them the whole year.


i just realized that i might seem a little crazy to some people. today, at the end of the day, some people asked how it went and i would reply, "better", or "i see progress". it wasn't really a good day, or a great day. definitely not horrible (because there is improvement). But right now, i am happy. i am just fine with being in my class (well, you know, substituting, but still, i'm their teacher for now). i wouldn't switch it for another class that might have less 'difficult' kids or less kids with an iep, or that understood english. i have seen progress in these past 4 days and i know that next week will improve and that just makes me happy. i know these students and i could not just abandon them! i am happy where i am and i'm very grateful for that!

i think it helps that i wish i could continue to teach for just a half-day. but i also know how very much we desire and need a house. we cannot have another baby in our living condition right now and so it needs to change within the next year. so we will see what happens. someday, the county will be able to hire teachers and i will get hired and Trevor will get hired. hopefully sooner than i! but i have trust and faith in Heavenly father. He is watching us and guiding and helping us! i am very grateful.

one last thing, i have to mention Craig! it has been nice to have a little break from Craig. i wish it was smaller, but i love him! he is so fun! i try to wake us both up in time for him to get to play out in the back yard before it gets too hot and sunburn time. it is so fun! he is such a good little boy. he is talking more and more each day and i love the things he learns and to see the changes daily!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

school and enjoying

well, i have had two days in the kindergarten and it is the third day of school. i must say that that first day for me, was pretty miserable! we had 25-5 year olds! i had 3-5 adults in the room the entire time and hallelujah! we were able to have some adults help with one on one for some kids and i was still able to help with the entire class. yesterday, was even better. i was surprised and went to the library for an hour of the time (with mrs. greenberg's class- special ed inclusion). so that helped. the librarian taught kinder for 5 years, so she knows them very well. we are just working on going over the rules tons and i think they will get adjusted to school and procedures.

when we came back on Saturday from st. george, it was WONDERFUL to see Craig again! i really think it was good to have an overnight without him. I did miss him while we were gone and even thought about taking him with us. but this is the one time a year that we have an overnighter without him, plus i knew he would not sit still for the play. so we took advantage of it and it was so good to come home and to be able to enjoy him even more and not lose my patience over little things! i hope i can keep this up and be a better mom, even with working and things.

well, school is back in session for Trevor. uggh! this is going to be difficult for him, i think. he is ready to be done and yet he isn't. i pray that I'll be able to help him hang in there. he has 2 classes and a study class for his big professional engineer test. also, with work, the man retired and so we are waiting for the job to be advertised and he can apply! we are still praying that things will work out.

no news about the hiring freeze for me, but i am almost kinda glad that i don't have my own class yet and am just substituting and getting used to being on my own a little. we'll see how this kinder goes, but i might switch to preferring first grade.

i am enjoying spending the mornings still with Craig. i definitely have a blessing being able to work a little, but still enjoy time with Craig.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

a ray of sunshine

well, this last week, i was getting a little down and having a little more trouble focusing on my blessings and the good things in life. i moved my Book of Mormon into the bathroom so that i could read my scriptures a little more and it worked. i read at least a chapter a day and was able to read a little at a time and digest the couple of verses i read.

well, then it was our anniversary and we have a little tradition of going up to tuacahn in st. george to see in a play. my mom agreed to watch Craig again this year so that we could go and we drove up with Trevor's parents. it was a nice trip, although honestly, carpooling on trips is not my favorite. it was a little difficult not being able to just relax when we wanted to. but we all saved money and gas and we got to talk more and i got to know mom and dad better. in a good way. overall, it was fun!

on Friday, i received a message from a principal at marion earl, the school i did my student teaching, practicum and went there for elementary school myself! it was the new vice principal asking if i wanted the half day kindergarten substitute position. all day long i tried to call her back, but she was either busy or i had no reception (we stayed in mesquite because i, as a ccsd employee, got a free room!!!) driving through the gorge. (we ate lunch in st. george, the went back to the hotel because we had nothing else to do and wanted a nap)

Finally, i was able to get a call from the principal that i knew before and she offered me the sub position for half day kindergarten, again! i had declined it earlier in august, hoping to work at another full time school. apparently, a man had picked up the job and come in on Friday and the principal did not like her. so, she will tell him on Monday that it is not working and i can come in on Tuesday. ALSO, there's MORE!! :D the morning kindergarten teacher is pregnant and due any day (Melissa jolley/mendenhall, who i know, lds) and they wondered if i would be her sub while she was out on maternity leave! so i could work full time, in the same room in kindergarten! it's not a real teaching job, but a job is better than no job! i was thrilled! i knew right away all of the prayers on my behalf had helped and i was reminded how much Heavenly Father loves me! He loves my family. He really does look after us and knows what is best for us. i might still have half days with Craig but i know there is hope for getting a little more money and someday this hiring freeze will be over and ccsd can hire many teachers to fill the positions being filled right now by substitutes.

In the end, there was a ray of sunshine to my day and the many comments of hope and encouragement from my blog were wonderful.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

my husband

WOW! we have been married for 3 years today and I can't believe it. sometimes, it feels like we were just married and other times, it seems like it has been much longer. and both ways are positive. Trevor is so great to me. He is such a blessing in my life. he is a great father and husband. i am very grateful for how easily school comes for him. i'm grateful he chose a very good career and is sticking with getting his education. most of his classes, he has seen other students struggling to understand the concepts and he is able to understand them very well. we have both seen in our families the difficulties with schooling and now how very important it is to get the education to have a backup. I know that it has been more and more difficult to stick with college, but i know even more how much it will be worth it. if i ever get a teaching job, i will start in nv at about $30,000 whereas when he graduates, he will start at about $60,000! he was able to get and maintain scholarships that have paid us back for him going to school and he also got us a pell grant for a couple of years.otherwise, i know i would not have gotten my degree.

i am so grateful for his comedy. he is able to make me laugh and help me feel better when i am grumpy or upset. i love talking with him. he listens and understands me so well. of course, our marriage isn't perfect, but he works with me so we can understand each other. sometimes, when neither one of us can fall asleep, we will stay up and just talk. those are one of my favorite times. we just talk about the future, or our worries. he understands that sometimes i don't know what to say to make things better.

i am so grateful for the wonderful father he is. i have written about it in the past a little, but every sunday, i see him sitting with craig and doing such a great job of teaching our son at an early age the important things about church. craig has so much fun playing with his daddy and goofing off. and then when craig gets in trouble, he listens to trevor so much better, i am grateful for the strength he provides for our family. i don't want him to be the bad guy, always disciplining, but it is apparent that craig knows to listen to his daddy (usually).

trevor helps me when i need help. for example, last night, i was getting craig ready to take a bath and took off his clothes (except diaper) and sent craig in the other room while i still grabbed his pjs out and his lotion, toothbrush, found a pacifier and teddy. well, i go into the other room and trevor is already getting him in the tub and the water going! i didn't need to ask him, but it was so nice to know that i have someone there to help me.
well, i could go on and on, but i need to get other things done today. i am grateful that i was able to take the time to remind myself of the wonderful qualities in my husband and be reminded that Heavenly Father really blessed me when i met Trevor.

encouragement

i found out yesterday morning that the school i 'interviewed' at for a long term sub, does not need me. i have tried to keep a positive attitude about everything, especially for Trevor. But yesterday, there just really seemed to be no hope. I know that the longer it takes me to get a full time job, the longer we can't get a house and can't really have another child.

i knew my mom wanted to know when i heard anything about the subbing, so i called her and it was wonderful. she reassured me that everything would work out. Heavenly Father is watching over us and she would continue to keep us in her prayers.

it seems like everyone is having problems. Dad is having to let go of many workers and can't find much work, which affects a lot of us. Anne and Megan depend on him for school money, enoch depends on the business, we still live with them and were hoping for help with a downpayment, but now don't think that will ever happen. and Luke and Heidi are still under 18. Abraham seems to be doing ok, but Christian and Crystal are having a very difficult time in their marriage. mom told me she's praying for everyone so much! for Trevor and i to both get jobs.
it really is like Bishop Scroggins always mentions (he mioght be quoting someone else, i can't remember) but if you treat everyone like they are in the middle of a crisis, just got through a crisis, or is about to be in a crisis, 99% of the time, you will be correct. And i think especially with the economy become weaker and the housing market so low, i think it does apply to people.

The end result is we must have faith. I need t do better on the things i'm struggling with so that Heavenly Father can bless us for everything we are doing. I do know that if we keep things up (fhe, scriptures, temple, prayers, tithing, fast offering, serving, etc) if we do as much as we can, Heavenly Father will bless us. and I always have to remind myself that just because we have a plan, does not mean it is also our Father in heaven's plan. I need to try and get my life as best in line with what He would want me to be doing and trust that He will take care of us. right now, i especially pray for His peace to help me understand and feel calmer. i know how very much He loves us. I know He will watch over us. i just need to be patient and trusting.

Monday, August 18, 2008

escaping

Trevor decided we needed to escape and take a break, so he took off last Friday and we went to San Diego! I'm am so grateful for Cyndi, Brent and emma for letting us stay at their place and emma and Craig got along so well. it was nice to take a little vacation. Heavenly Father blesses us so much! we had a fun, safe trip and really enjoyed spending time with family. And Cyndi is such a great aunt! Craig loved being with her. She was playing with Emma and Craig. it seemed like craig was always happy with her. during church, cyndi brought magnets with her and craig had such a blast with them all of sacrament!

and i was able to sit with trevor and craig the entire meeting. it was a nice change. Trevor really is so good with Craig. He is teaching him to be so reverent before and while the sacrament is passed. our family will and does have a great dad to help teach some valuable lessons. i am very blessed.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

change

we received some free leather couches a couple of weeks ago and we cleaned the love seat up and put it in our little apartment yesterday. it is always nice to get some change. i was grateful that Trevor metnioned the idea.

Also, yesterday was Cyndi's birthday, today is Anita's and a week ago was Karl's. i am very grateful for trevor's wonderful family. i got really luckily marrying into his family. he has great brothers and sisters and it just reminds me more when it is their birthday. when cyndi was downhere around the fourth of july, i was able to drive her around a little and run some errands. it was fun just hanging out withe her, emma and craig. Anita helps us out so much! she is going to help watch Craig a little when i work this next year.

Today, our speakers discussed the leadership training from febraury. it was great to hear it again and hear other people's thoughts about the guidance from our leaders. i love love the words the leaders gave us in the meeting. it was great to hear the words again. i think i might just have to read through them again.

I also got to sub in the ctr 6 class. it reminded me that i really do like that age. some kids had just finished kindergarten and some are just about to start kindergarten. i like that age range. i really am hoping that i will be able to teach kinder or first. we'll see. I know that Heavenly Father will help me out and things will work out. i need to get better about scriptures and prayer, both personally and our family. i really think that the most we are doing, the better Heavenly Father can bless us. I know things aren't gunna be just what i want, but it will be better than if we weren't doing the best we could do.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

fixed car

On Monday, I was able to take the car in and I think it is fixed! I've been driving around for two days and the air conditioning is working great and the temperature is not getting too high! I am very grateful for cars! they can be annoying when problems occur, but life without them is very difficult. I wish we had a good busing system, but we don't.

Craig has been a little crazy. But he is still so cute! He likes to scream a little when he gets mad, still throwing himself down on the ground. but he is getting better about saying prayers. He loves to read a book with me before he goes to sleep. Yesterday, I got him in his pjs and he ran up into our bed and grabbed a book. it was so cute! He is such a blessing and i shelping Treovr and I be better to each other and him and also have more patience.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

sharing clothes

We have been so blessed in many ways, but i wanted to make note of one in particular. before Craig was born, many people in our life shared with us their blessings! We received many clothes from kids that had outgrown them. Some were given and some were borrowed. But we have been so blessed because of this.

We have had to buy a couple of clothes, but compared to the thousands that we would have had to buy. here is Craig in one of his 'new' outfits.

Yesterday, I took out more clothes for Craig, 2T. we had too many summery clothes that i didn't have room for them all!! I picked out some of the cuter, less stained, less able to stain and put them away! the many others, i put back away in boxes and kept them in mind for later in the year, or next summer.

then, since we have some clothes, I have been able to share with my brother who has a baby! I am so very grateful for all those who thought of us.

Even More

On Thursday, our ward had a family fiesta night and we got to go. It was nice. we got to sit with some people and find out more about them. i enjoyed talking to people and not just being to ourselves. i was grateful for the opportunity to get to know more people in our ward and understand them.

Then, Saturday, we went and picked up some couches from Ray, a guy Trevor works with. He moved into a house and his girlfriend bought some new couches, so he let us have his old ones. Trevor thought his girlfriend wanted to sell the couches, but Ray gave them to us for free. They are in pretty good condition and it's nice knowing that if we ever get into a house and have some jobs, we don't have to worry about buying couches.

special messages

This last week, I was able to go visiting teaching with my companion, April Pope, to two ladies on two separate days. I really enjoyed this months message. It was about our bodies and how special they are. I really loved a quote in it by President Gordon b. Hinckley that has really stood out to me and I have been thinking about it a lot.

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008): "Our bodies are sacred. They were created in the image of God. They are marvelous, the crowning creation of Deity. No camera has ever matched the wonder of the human eye. No pump was ever built that could run so long and carry such heavy duty as the human heart. The ear and the brain constitute a miracle. . . . These, with others of our parts and organs, represent the divine, omnipotent genius of God" ("Be Ye Clean," Ensign, May 1996, 48).

I love the part he mentions abour our eyes and our hearts! Our bodies truly are unique and they are amazing! I was so grateful I went visiting teaching this month and was able to not only read the message for myself, but discuss the thoughts with three other women and hear their thoughts on the message. I know that i can receive blessings in my life for striving to do the best and one of my blessings was to be reminded of how very special I am and what a gift Heavenly Father has given me by allowing me to have a body.

I am grateful for this temple and hope I can do better to create a more beauftiful temple and better exemplify how I want to be.